About Alexis Lee

Alexis Lee started her blog, Style Me Sunday, in July 2012. A former midwife, divorced mother of two girls of British and Caribbean descent living and brought up in London. What began as a fashion blog soon evolved as she changed and started to open up about other things like body confidence, mental health and her healing process. For over a decade she has grown her platform from a blog to a brand, and now reaches women across various different mediums. In 2022 she released her debut book Feeling Myself published by Penguin/ Ebury – ‘A modern manifesto and memoir on sex and shame

Now with more than 100k followers on Instagram (@stylemesunday). Alexis runs events, and courses, hosts podcasts, models, and has been a speaker and a panellist more times than she can count. She has taken part in a television project about women’s quests for better orgasms where she had a real orgasm on TV, and co-hosted a make-over show using adaptive fashion. She runs community spaces Healing Myself and now Black Enough?! She enjoys working with a huge variety of small and household-name brands through her social media channels.

 

Summary
In this conversation, Alexis discusses the impact of motherhood on sexuality and the pressure and expectations women face in the postpartum phase. She emphasises the importance of unpacking shame and rediscovering one’s sexuality within.
Together we also explore the journey from shutdown to pleasure-filled freedom and the significance of embarking on a solo healing journey.
Alexis challenges the notion of keeping sex hidden and advocates for open and honest conversations about sex with our children.
We highlight the need to reframe intimacy and pleasure and empower women to communicate their needs.
Finally, we discuss the intersection of the biological and spiritual aspects of sex.
The power dynamics of female sexuality and the impact of colonialism on thinking and conditioning are also discussed.
The conversation highlights the significance of embodiment and non-verbal communication in fostering healthy relationships.
Alexis reflects on her motherhood journey and the courage to challenge societal expectations. This episode concludes with the importance of taking ownership and communicating our needs as women, as well as supporting each other in the ongoing journey of self-discovery and liberation.

Takeaways

  • Motherhood can be a portal for addressing and opening up one’s sexuality.
  • Women often face pressure and expectations to resume sexual intimacy after childbirth, which can lead to disconnection and disassociation.
  • Healing and rediscovering one’s sexuality is a personal and multifaceted journey that may involve therapy, breath work, and other healing practices.
  • Open and honest conversations about sex with children are essential for their understanding, safety, and empowerment.
  • Reframing intimacy and pleasure can involve exploring different ways of connecting and embracing one’s right to pleasure. 
  • Challenging societal stigmas and taboos surrounding sexuality is crucial for personal liberation.
  • Understanding the power dynamics of female sexuality and the impact of colonialism can aid in decolonizing thinking and conditioning.
  • Reflecting on the motherhood journey and challenging societal expectations can lead to personal growth and empowerment.
  • Taking ownership and communicating needs is essential for personal fulfillment and healthy relationships.
  • Continuing the journey of self-discovery and supporting each other is vital for ongoing growth and liberation.

Timecodes:

00:00Introduction and Background
03:19Impact of Motherhood on Sexuality
06:18Pressure and Expectations in Postpartum Phase
08:36The Dichotomy of Motherhood and Sexuality
11:07Unpacking Shame and Rediscovering Sexuality
13:34Moving from Shutdown to Pleasure-Filled Freedom
17:41Solo Journey of Healing
19:54Reframing Intimacy and Pleasure
22:31Empowering Women to Communicate Their Needs
25:22Sensuality and Embodiment of Motherhood
27:27Talking to Children about Sex
32:48Sharing Healing Journey with Children
37:41Bringing Biological and Spiritual Aspects of Sex Together
43:36The Importance of Openness and Curiosity
44:05Demystifying Masturbation
45:15Openness and Trust in Parent-Child Relationships
46:23Challenging Societal Stigmas and Taboos
48:45The Power Dynamics of Female Sexuality
49:29Decolonizing Thinking and Conditioning
50:38Embodiment and Non-Verbal Communication
53:15Reflections on Motherhood Journey
55:36Decolonizing Thinking and Conditioning
59:06Taking Ownership and Communicating Needs
01:02:48Continuing the Journey and Supporting Each Other

 

You can follow Alexis on Instagram here.

You can buy her book Feeling Myself Here.

You can check out her website here.

Do join us on Instagram to continue the conversation.

 

And book a free call with me if you need some support on your own soul mama journey.

Lots of Love

Nehanda xx

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“I think women feel a pressure to still be their same sexual selves that they were pre-motherhood, that they’re supposed to have sex as regularly and as often and in the same ways that they did before they became mothers.”